HOW TO GET OVER AND HEAL FROM A BREAK UP, Stop Hurting and Move On
Heart breaks can be so hard, and they can be amicable; no matter what, no one really wants to go through them. The loss of your relationship can bring on intense heartache and stress. In fact, Heart break is not only a metaphor, it actually causes real stress and pains. But if you’re looking for some help getting through it and want some suggestions about how to make it a little easier, read on;
Don’t think of going back. If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that only thinking about all the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second-guess the situation if the decision to end things was not yours. It’s very common to romanticize the good parts of the relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren’t so bad after all, that maybe you could just live with them. Or that maybe if your ex would know just how you feel, he/she wouldn’t want to break up after all. Don’t play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward.
Give yourself reasons: There is a reason the relationship didn’t work out in the first place. Just because you feel really drained emotionally doesn’t mean what you just got out of was appealing. Emotionally break-up causes you to feel like the relationship you just got out of was perfect. You need to start seeing it for what it is. Focus on the reasons why it would never have worked out instead of trying to only think of the good times.
Get Hobbies; Find happiness in other things. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, signing up for that class you’ve always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well.
Talk to your friends. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you’ll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net.
Avoid Being Alone, it is not too early to hang Out: Stop being alone, it isn’t going to help anything. A break-up isn’t a funeral, it’s isn’t too early to hang-out again. You’ve got the experience, it makes you see the mistakes you should avoid. Now get back in the game! Have fun, got out with friends, nail a one night stand and just be happy. The past is gone, move on.
Get rid of memory triggers. There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex––a song, a smell, a sound, a place. Once the grieving period has had some time to process, don’t dwell on painful feelings or memories. There are probably things that are pushing your buttons without your conscious recognition. Try walking around each room in your house with a box and removing things that make your heart ache or your stomach turn. Really focus and look carefully.
Let go of the negative emotions. Understand that there is no benefit in holding on to heartache, regret, and hatred toward another person. Realize that although it is over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways.
Self-Esteem Crisis, believe in yourself and Get in the Game: Often, break up causes self-esteem crisis, suddenly you discover you are not as confident in yourself as before. You need to stop feeling down and go shopping! Register for a gym or yoga class. Keep fit and start looking good, Get your “A” game back out there.